In reponse to the question about the 10 Most Essential Books (for Christians), we received some fabulous and interesting suggestions. But I also started getting a list from people regarding the most anti-essential christian books so here’s some of them. And if you’re gonna get offended, I have two things to say: 1) It’s not my list. Don’t kill the messenger! and 2) Relax. It’s okay to make fun of ourselves sometimes.
I’ll share my personal Top 10 list next week but for now, enjoy this list of the Most Anti-Essential Christians books from various commenters from this blog. You folks are mean!
And dare I ask: What would you add to the list?
Update: I’m adding the American Patriot’s Bible to this list. The crazy thing is that it’s a real book unlike the list bellow.
- Everyone Is Going To Hell Except Me – John MacArthur
- There’s No ‘U’ in Ministry: A Woman’s Guide – Mark Driscoll
- Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid – John Hagee
- God’s Most Glorified When We’re Most Calvinified in Him, by John Piper
- Right Behind – a fresh set of Apocalyptic chronicles by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins
- Eugene Cho Haven’t Published Squat so No One Can Even Make Fun of Him – by Eugene Cho
- We Know Jesus Better Than You Do – The Vatican Curia
- I’m Cool With Whatever (Featuring Enhanced Doodle Graphics) – Brian McLaren
- This Book Looks Longer Than It Really Is – Rob Bell
- God Wants You To Pay For My Airplane – Creflo Dollar
- 10 Keys To The 8 Steps To The 3 Paths To The 1 Way to God (TM) – Rick Warren
- I Secretly Wish I Were the Pope: A Memoir – N.T. Wright
- How to Smile – Joel Osteen
- How to Fall in My Presence – Benny Hinn
- Hippie Christianity for Ordinary Rednecks – Shane Claiborne
- You Can Kiss Dating My Daughter Goodbye – Joshua Harris, Sr
Seriously, I think I’m going to get in trouble…
Filed under: christianity, church, emerging church, ministry
How about – It’s Only a Tattoo and Other Myths Teens Believe by Ron Luce! Ahh, so inspiring. Want to have a copy for my son, when he’s of age.
- How To Fall In My Presence – Benny Hinn
Eugene,
You are really a jerk.
But having said that, these are hilarious. Thanks for a great laugh!
Right Behind – a fresh set of Apocalyptic chronicles by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins.
What Would Jesus Do if He Were Me
Mere Complacency
How to Smile- Joel Osteen
An Idiots Guide To the Catholic Church: Written By Idiots- John Hagee and Jack Chick
God’s Investment Plan, We Con You Out Of Your Money and You Think Your Being Bless- DayStar Program
I Think I’m Nostradomus- Pat Robertson
How To Cover Up Crime- Cardinal Mahony (I’m Catholic I can say that)
left behind series – lahaye and jenkins
purpose driven life – rick warren (ooooooo)
The Gospel According to Jack Bauer- A Collaborative Effort by FREAKING EVERYONE
How to be a Real Man: A Guide to Kicking Your Own Ass- Mark Driscoll [indebted to the Wittenburgdoor.com: you should check it out, it's hilarious]
Hair to the Heavens- Lady with pink hair on TBN
Biblical Overcompensation- John MacArthur
I Secretly Wish I Were the Pope: A Memoir- N.T. Wright
Circlejerk: The Chronicles of Formation of the Biblical Council on Manhood and Womanhood- The Board
p.s.- Thanks Eugene for this. I suddenly feel much better about myself
Those are funny, Twitch!
Botox and ReBotox, A guide for Christians and How to Cover Up Your Wrinkle Earthly Face, by Lady with the pink hair.
(Aaron Twitch, sup!)
BW, huh?
Or is it BW3???
I think I’ve found your secret comedian. At any rate, we might add:
Why Socio-Rhetorical Commentaries Answer Everything: A Socio-Rhetorical Commentary on Socio-Rhetorical Commentaries, by Ben Witherington III.
Also, I’ve heard this one before but can’t remember where:
God’s Most Glorified When We’re Most Calvified in Him, by John Piper
Rick Warren book… hilarious! especially like the trademark touch. LOL
A Theology of Comfort by Most of Western Christendom
O Snap. I’m going to get in lots of trouble for this one.
LOL those were hilarious. Kudos to Tyler M for his Osteen title ahaha
I highly recommend ‘You Won’t Be Spiritually Fit If You Don’t Exorcise the Demons’ by Bob Larson.
These were so funny I had to read the aloud to my husband!
[...] Saw this today and got a good chuckle. The 10 Most Anti-Essential Christian Books. [...]
Love it!
10 Bible Verses To Edify Your Identity And Get Your Way In Any Situation by John Calvin
Dude – as they say in comedy circles, it’s funny ’cause it’s true.
SB—that was too funny.
I love it, great list… the best one has to be God wants you to pay for my airplane, b/c we all need an airplane of course. Didn’t see the first list but love this one.
God is not Greeat by Christopher Hitchens.
Right Behind: A Parody of Last Days Goofiness has actually been written, by Nathan Wilson. Check it out here:
http://www.amazon.com/Right-Behind-Parody-Last-Goofiness/dp/1885767870
Eugene,
This post was featured on WordPress as “Hawt Post.” You are in some serious big trouble.
A Messiah’s Guide to Deliberately Disappointing Your Followers: Bono
These are funny! And, yes, it is totally okay to “make fun of ourselves sometime.”
So, honestly, how would you make fun of yourself?
Maybe other people have some ideas…
Just to be clear, i am in no way, shape, or form making fun of myself here. i am clearly and unapologetically making fun of the people i named in my list. i anticipate the critique of my passive-aggressiveness, and accept it with lovingly open arms
In a recent Mars Hill podcast, Rob Bell announced the title of his next book as ‘The Purpose-Driven Shack of Jabez’. That should sell!
[...] the most anti-essential christian books In reponse to the question about the 10 Most Essential Books (for Christians), we received some fabulous and [...] [...]
Loved it. Laughed so hard over the John Calvin one, I may have lost my salvation. Hey, wait a minute….
Preaching the Asian Sensation Way – Eugene Cho
How to Starve your Church by Watering down the Gospel – Rick Warren
From Millions to Billions – Joel Osteen
Stealing, Wheeling, and Dealing: How to encourage your church to pay for your BMW, your Mansion, and your 7-figure salary – co authored by Creflo Dollar and T.D. Jakes
Israel or Bust! – John Haggee
[...] ‘The most anti-essential Christian books’ March 9, 2009 Beauty and Depravity [...]
BRILLIANT!
My New (Biblical?) Fad Diet – Joyce Meyer
How to Be Married Like I Am – Joshua Harris
Hippie Christianity for Ordinary Rednecks- Shane Claiborne
how to be a cougar by paula white
Oh PE! I needed that! Thank you
You Can Kiss Dating My Daughter Goodbye – Joshua Harris, Sr.
Eugene,
you can’t make me laugh so hard while I’m at work… people are starting to stare!
Becoming Conversant with the Emerging Church (without ever talking to ANY of them)–D. A. Carson
“How to Make Money by Writing a Book That Is Anti-Emergent Even If The Only People Who Will Care Are Those Who Already Are Anti-Emergent” from the authors of “Why We’re Not Emergent, by Two Guys Who Should Be”
(had to add my two cents)
Just linked to to this post from my blog on http://www.conversantlife.com/jodiehowerton
This was absolutely HILARIOUS!
Reversed Evangelism: Strategies for Mobilizing Christianity Only for Christians by James Dobson
The Shack Bible by William P. Young (illustrated by Mariliyn Manson)
Love it…
So here are a few more I’ve stumbled upon…
Sweatin’ to the Old Testament – TD Jakes
How To Stay 5-Star in the Third World: A Guide for Travelers – Benny Hinn
My Plan to Rule the Wor.. er.. God’s Plan for Your Life – Joel Osteen
Jlefhksfb Ghaube Wihefbfb Erqnai (If You Can Read This, You’re Into Acts 2) – Kenneth Copeland
the Creflo Dollar one is hilarious but it’s also true. I heard of another book by Creflo that will soon release :
” Cop-A-Dollar: The Secret of Ministry ” by Creflo A. Dollar
I also think Rick Warren’s one is hilarious even though I somewhat like Rick. Anytime you see Rick on tv being interviewed he has a funny way of bouncing around with words or stories in answering the question.
The John MacArthur one is also funny. But he too is coming out with a few other books as well :
” Knowing My Bible But Not Knowing God ” By John MacArthur
” How to Replace God with Your Bible ” by John MacArthur
” The Legalistic Driven Life ” by John MacArthur
Yeah and you guessed it, Rob Bell is also coming out with a few as well :
” Too Cool for Jesus: How to Become a Joke ” by Rob Bell
HAHAHAHHAHA HILARIOUS
Awesome. Just awesome.
John Piper
“I’m Not Saying He’s A Heretic… But He Is: A Response to N.T. Wright’s Response to John Piper’s Response to N.T. Wright”
Mark Driscoll
“Sissy boys, Women Preachers, Non-Calvinists, and People Who Dislike UFC: Essays on How to Tell Who Isn’t a Real Christian”
John Ortberg
“Pandering to American Feel-Good Entitlement: A Memoir”
John MacArthur and/or D.A. Carson
“Why You Don’t Need to Read Any Actuaul Postmodernists to Know They Are Wrong”
Tim LaHay and Jerry Jenkins
“I Never Thought It’d Be Me: The Diary of a Post-Tribber Who was Left Behind to Learn How Wrong He Was About Eschatology”
“I’m not Jesus I Just Smell like Him” – Shane Claiborne
“God and Natural Selection” – John Calvin
“The Jesus I Never Knew…” – Joel Osteen
“Every REAL Man’s Battle” – Mark Driscoll
“Don’t Waste MY Life” – John Piper
“Mild at Heart” – Everyone
[...] The Most Anti-Essential Christian Books (not necessary, but VERY funny.) [...]
God is Most Glorified when we wear cool glasses and use big words – Bryan McClaren
wow! that is a pretty funny list:
“Come throw with Cho” (a response to faux christianity)
How bout:
Simple Preaching for Simple People at a Simple Church- Reiner & Geiger
Use the Force, A Commentary on Luke – Erwin McManus
Water Painting by Numbers on the Feelings of Changing Postmodernism/Neorelevantism – Brian McLaren
I Don’t Give a %#*@$ – Tony Campolo and Mark Driscoll
The Leaky Faucet – Craig Gross
Driscoll V. Bell – Randy Coture
[...] Cho has a great post called “the most anti-essential christian books. This is awesome! Click Here to read it on his blog. I have posted the list [...]
Me: lol
Husband: ROFL
Way too funny! 8D
I’m passing it on…
[...] Ten Most Anti-Essential Christian [...]
Now that Eugene Cho has published his list, it is permissible to make fun of him. How shall we do it? The trouble with taking on an oriental is they are so brainy. Enuff said.
‘ Dr ‘. James Willingham what was the purpose of your comment? Looks like all your bible knowledge and training hasn’t done you any good except turn you into some kind of religious/racist pharisee? The trouble with you is that the ‘brainy orientals’ you refer to were created by God, or the God you claim to believe in unless of course you’ve created your own god in your own image.
Thanks for your comment. You’ve basically just exposed yourself and where your own heart is. It’s amazing how blogs can help us. Dr. James Willingham, I will remember that name.
[...] my 10 absolutely essential books for christians Nearly every week, someone asks me about my recommnedations about what books Christians should be reading. In essence, “what are the must reads?” And so couple weeks ago, I asked YOU for your recommendations and there were some fascinating contributions. In a comical way, it also spurred on a spontaneous and hilarious post about the Most Anti-Essential Christians books. [...]
Can I play too?
God Jump off a Cliff – John Eldredge
The Beginner’s Guide to Chekovian-Socratic, Marxist-Gadamerean, Prophetic Christianity – Cornel West
The Purpose Driven Marketing Plan – Rick Warren
p.s. supposed to be ‘Go Jump off a Cliff’ (Doh!)
The Contortions of Saint Augustine
[...] naughty sacred treasure (if that’s possible) - the most anti-essential Christian books. (HT – The Simple [...]
simply poking fun at people different than you.
a joke of christianity.
i’m offended not because i support the people you’re poking fun at, but because you’re supposed to love all brothers and sisters in Christ, regardless of how you feel they’re wrong. not to be cheesy, but would Jesus come up with a list of “anti-essential christian books” about His children? i think not.
“What Would Jesus Not Do?” by Lucy.
Just ran across the list. Very funny.
Just stumbled on your blog from a link somebody posted in Imonk’s comments. Your list is awesome. The MacArthur title is hilarious, but also disturbing due to its accuracy.
Great list, I also found this via Imonk’s comments…
Book title: How to successfully blog and create a following on the Web spreading ideas without actually needing to meet real people
Twitch,
It’s not “The Gospel According to Jack Bauer”, but there is Jack Bauer’s Having a Bad Day: An Unauthorized Investigation of Faith in 24: Season 1
http://www.amazon.com/Jack-Bauers-Having-Bad-Investigation/dp/0781443849/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243015410&sr=8-1
[...] Spencer’s post here, his long list of often-hilarious comments, Eugene Cho’s post here, and John Shore’s “My Breakfast With My Christian Book Agent” here. Counting [...]
[...] Near You 2009 May 27 tags: books, Eugene Cho, Internet Monk by Dan The Internet Monk and Eugene Cho both have lists of Christian books they’d like to see. Some favourites from each list. First [...]
21 Irrefutable Laws of Selling Books by John Maxwell
Turn Your Sermon Series Into A Bestseller by Max Lucado
hehehe. I love most of these guys except joel osteen… but this is really funny
How about “We know God’s plan for your life – not you” by John Bevere ???